


head is spinning thinking about you

by ionlyloveyouironically



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Infidelity is not a thing here, M/M, Polyamory, The Bisexual Revelation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-02-24 12:50:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13214130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionlyloveyouironically/pseuds/ionlyloveyouironically
Summary: It’s not catalyzed by anything in particular. One day he notices how he averts his eyes from certain classmates, how it’s a conscious thing that he keeps his eyes off his teammates in the locker room, the prickle of unease that drips down his spine to pool in his stomach whenever Nicky or Boyd walk around the tower shirtless. He notices all these things and finally thinks about what they could mean.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Nicky isn't being unfaithful. He and Erik have a long, serious, offscreen discussion that may or may not end with phone sex. But just as a disclaimer, Erik is very okay with what happens here.

It’s not catalyzed by anything in particular. One day he notices how he averts his eyes from certain classmates, how it’s a conscious thing that he keeps his eyes off his teammates in the locker room, the prickle of unease that drips down his spine to pool in his stomach whenever Nicky or Boyd walk around the tower shirtless. He notices all these things and finally thinks about what they could mean.

Growing up, the only thing that mattered was his impending career. Anything that could have gotten in the way of Riko or Kevin becoming the superstars they were always meant to be was either quickly corrected or stomped out. America didn’t accept gay athletes, so Riko and Kevin couldn’t be gay. Riko never had a problem with this, but now Kevin thinks that he might have always been sad about it for some reason.

But Riko is gone, and Kevin’s a Fox, and nobody needed to know if he was just… figuring things out. All he needs is someone to help him along the way, and only one person pops into his mind.

-

He corners Nicky in the little kitchenette on a day Andrew and Neil are off on one of their trips. “Are you actually attracted to me?” he asks. Nicky must not have heard him approach because he startles so badly that that he drops his half-full bottle of water and turns wildly to look at him.

“Uh?” Nicky answers, confused. “Yes? You’ve got… _that_ whole thing going for you.” He waves a hand vaguely at Kevin, crouching down over the puddle his spilled water had created. He pulls his hoodie up over his head, a slip of his stomach showing where his T-shirt rides up. Kevin glances at Nicky’s skin and then quickly away, ignoring the prickle of guilt at the bottom of his stomach.

Nicky is unaware of Kevin’s constant internal struggles. He lays his hoodie on the floor in and effort to soak the water up ( _even though the paper towels are literally right there_ , Kevin notes), and then glances up at Kevin, who can’t speak past the sudden lump in his throat.

Nicky Hemmick is good-looking on an average day, but right now Kevin is unfairly aware of just how attractive he is. His hair is unstyled, parted weirdly from the way he’s been laying on the couch for the past couple hours. The curls are loose and bouncy, one falling across his forehead over one of his big dark eyes. His jaw and cheekbones are sharp enough that there is no mistaking him for a woman. _Okay_ , Kevin realizes. _So I am a little gay. Good to know._

“Kevin?” Nicky asks, maybe not for the first time. “Why are you asking?”

Kevin has to swallow past the lump in his throat, but he takes long enough that Nicky stands, a concerned look on his face. Kevin clears his throat. “I… I want to experiment. With you.”

There’s an ugly _splat_ as Nicky drops his sodden hoodie. “ _Experiment_? Like you- you think you like guys?”

“I _know_ I like guys,” Kevin says, annoyed, “I just-” He clenches and relaxes his left hand. “I want to be sure.”

Nicky studies him for a moment, probably looking for some kind of lie, but then his face softens. “Alright,” he says gently. “What do you-”

“Can I kiss you?” Kevin blurts, unable to stand the sympathetic look on his face any longer.

Nicky’s mouth parts in surprise before closing again. “Sure-”

Kevin is already taking three quick steps up to Nicky and pressing their mouths together.

He doesn’t know whether it’s good or not; all he can focus on is the fact that his lips are against another boy’s, and how if anyone finds out about this it could ruin him, and-

Nicky slides his hands up Kevin’s arms and into his hair, gripping slightly to turn Kevin’s head at a better angle. Kevin stops thinking.

Nicky is a _good_ kisser. His lips are soft, and his hands cradle the back of Kevin’s head and the side of his jaw, applying the tiniest amounts of pressure to change the angle, and Kevin obeys. He’s surprisingly glad for Nicky’s manhandling, finds that he likes being able to let Nicky take control of the kiss so that he doesn’t have to for once. Nicky licks at Kevin’s mouth, just slightly, and Kevin parts his lips in answer.

Correction: Nicky is a _great_ kisser.

Kevin forgets to be worried about anything, and raises one hand to grasp at the material of Nicky’s t-shirt, bunching the front up in his fist. He quickly gets the idea of what Nicky likes, the things that make his breath hitch, how he hums just the tiniest bit when Kevin bites down a little on his bottom lip. He takes the lead, resting his other hand along the back of Nicky’s neck and holding him there. Nicky seems happy to let this happen, and trails his hands down to the bottom hem of Kevin’s shirt, sneaking his fingers up inside to rub against the muscles of Kevin’s belly.

Eventually they break apart, breathing heavily. Kevin’s lips feel swollen and too cold now without Nicky’s on them.

“What’s the verdict?” Nicky asks, eyes still on Kevin’s mouth.

“Yeah,” is all he says before pulling Nicky back in.

They kiss for only a little while longer. When Kevin’s mouth ventures to the underside of Nicky’s jaw, Nicky pulls away. “I need to call Erik, and talk to him. Before we go further, I mean. If you want to.”

Kevin nods, wiping at his lips with the heel of his hand, a motion Nicky follows closely with his eyes before blinking and stepping back quickly. He retreats, and Kevin is left alone in the kitchen with a wet hoodie he doesn’t own and the knowledge that he is very, very into guys.

-

So, bisexual, he guesses. He rolls the word around in his head over the next week or so that he doesn’t have alone time with Nicky. _Bisexual_. It fits. He was very into Thea and what they did together, but he’s also very into the possibility of kissing Nicky again. He wants it, but he waits until Nicky gives him a sign that he wants to continue.

The sign happens to be plopping himself down right in Kevin’s lap.

He doesn’t notice when Nicky walks into the bedroom and locks the door, but he definitely notices when he moves Kevin’s computer out of his lap and sets it aside only to take its place. On Kevin. In his bed. In their bedroom with the door locked.

“I was watching that,” he says faintly, looking up at Nicky.

Nicky rolls his eyes in spite of the slight smile curling at the corner of his mouth attractively. He drapes his arms over Kevin’s shoulders and leans forward. “Were you still interested in- what was it you said?”

Breathing is becoming a hassle. “Experimenting,” he answers, voice rough.

Nicky smiles for real now, as if what Kevin had just said was cute. Kevin can’t be too offended when he can’t even breathe in the face of this. “Right, that. Did you still want to? Maybe… try something else too?”

Kevin ignores the litany of _yesyesyes_ in his head to ask, “Is this okay with Erik?”

“Yeah, we talked,” Nicky says, and then continues, but Kevin suddenly can’t hear him because Nicky casually pulls his own shirt over his head.

He’s seen Nicky shirtless before, theoretically. But now he’s shirtless right in Kevin’s face, showing him up close and personal how his skin is tan and soft and gorgeous. Without thinking, he runs his hand down Nicky’s chest to his bellybutton, feeling the muscles jump underneath his fingers, and swipes his thumb over the small collection of moles under his navel.

“Hey, Kev,” Nicky says breathlessly, and Kevin’s head jumps up, surprised at the nickname, just in time for Nicky to kiss him. It’s better than last time; Kevin isn’t nervous with Nicky here like this. He reaches around to press his hands flat on Nicky’s back, and Nicky tugs lightly at Kevin’s hair the way he likes, scratching gently at his scalp every now and then.

Kevin kisses his way to the underside of Nicky’s jaw and bites lightly, something he’s been thinking about ever since Nicky stopped him last time. Nicky twitches in Kevin’s lap, and he digs his fingers into Nicky’s skin. He’s been too preoccupied with Nicky’s mouth to notice that his dick is very interested, but now he grabs hold of Nicky’s hips to pull his ass down onto Kevin’s erection.

Nicky tugs lightly at the collar of Kevin’s shirt, but he doesn’t register it as a command until Nicky reaches down and pulls Kevin’s shirt off himself. “Oh,” he mumbles, and fights the rest of his way out of the fabric, blinking up at Nicky, who seems to be trying not to laugh.

Kevin flushes, and Nicky leans down again to kiss him deeply, grinding down again at the same time. He makes an embarrassing noise, and Nicky takes advantage of his parted lips to slip his tongue inside and stroke against Kevin’s own. He bites at Kevin’s lip, and Kevin tries to jerk his hips up, seeking more friction, but Nicky stays just out of reach, laughing at the frustrated face Kevin makes.

Kevin watches the tendons in Nicky’s neck stand out as he tosses his head back and laughs, and feels the curious urge to kiss Nicky all over. From his neck to his thin wrists to the moles on his belly. He doesn’t know where the feeling comes from, so he shoves it down and takes advantage of Nicky’s distraction, flipping their positions so he hovers over Nicky, who lies on his back on the bed. Nicky just smirks up at him, like a challenge. Kevin scowls again before closing the distance between their bodies and grinding their hips together.

It’s much better this way. He can feel Nicky’s cock through his sweatpants, a completely new sensation that makes his breath catch. Nicky moans quietly, beautifully, and runs his hands slowly down Kevin’s back all the way to his ass, dipping under the waistband of his pants and boxers to squeeze. Kevin shivers. Nicky uses his grip to help guide their hips together, and Kevin lets him take control, more occupied with kissing along Nicky’s collarbone to his strong shoulder.

Nicky’s body underneath him is a completely foreign sensation. They’re roughly the same size, Kevin just a few inches taller. Nicky is broader and stronger than anyone he’s ever slept with, and Kevin keeps noticing how completely male Nicky is, from his flat chest to the warm length Kevin ruts against. He notices that it’s not altogether bad, either. He likes women, has liked all the women he’s slept with in the past, but this is great too.

He tells himself that it’s not because of Nicky in particular. That’s not something he can focus on with their hips moving so perfectly together, with Nicky’s fingers digging into the flesh of his ass. All he can think about is what part of his neck to bite to get him to make that noise again, how slow he has to drag their hips together for Nicky to let out another breathy _oh-_

Nicky’s hands travel back upward over Kevin’s shoulders and to his chest, smoothing down over his front. He rubs the pad of a thumb over one of Kevin’s nipples, and his hips jerk forward suddenly. Nicky giggles at the reaction, or possibly the surprised look on Kevin’s face, and Kevin can’t help but stare for a moment before leaning down and pressing their mouths together firmly.

After a moment Nicky arches off the bed slightly, and Kevin thinks, _I must be doing something right_. But then he feels movement between their hips and looks down to find that Nicky has slid his sweatpants down far enough to reveal his hard cock.

 _Oh_ , Kevin thinks stupidly. _There it is._

Nicky doesn’t seem to mind Kevin’s dumbfounded state. He leans his head back and wraps a hand around himself, sighing contentedly and watching Kevin as he slowly strokes himself. Kevin knows it’s another challenge, but he can hear his blood rushing in his ears and he thinks he’s never been more turned on than he is now. Nicky watches him with his big dark eyes, and bites down on his lip to fight down a smile.

On the one hand, Kevin thinks he could watch Nicky all day, laid out in bed and making himself feel good. On the other, though, Nicky is messing with him like this, either because he thinks it’s funny Kevin’s never been with a man before or he’s just being a jerk. Kevin is tired of it either way. He bats Nicky’s hand away, locks eyes, and licks a stripe up his palm before reaching down to take Nicky into his hand.

This, at least is familiar enough, though Nicky feels different in his hand than what he’s used to. Nicky sighs again, pleased, and Kevin strokes upward, slow and not very tight to show Nicky he’s had enough of his teasing. He doesn’t think he gets the message though.

Nicky runs a hand through his own hair. “Yeah, Kev, that’s really good.”

Kevin flushes at the nickname again.

He takes his time finding out what makes Nicky squirm or bite his lip or moan, and then does all of those things while he kisses softly along Nicky’s chest and neck. He remembers how he reacted when Nicky touched his nipple earlier, and leans down to lick cautiously at one of Nicky’s. He startles at how hard he jerks underneath him.

“Fucking- _Kevin_ ,” Nicky breathes, and grips Kevin’s jaw in both hands to pull him upwards into a kiss, before letting go to pull down Kevin’s pants and underwear in one move.

Kevin’s breath hitches at the feeling of exposure, and then stops altogether. Nicky gathers the wetness from his own leaking tip and spreads it along Kevin’s cock before tugging it firmly. Kevin sucks in a harsh breath and steadies himself with one hand on the bedspread, fingers digging in. He’s not accustomed to hands that aren’t his own, or the quick pace Nicky starts off with. Nicky looks into his eyes, but something in Kevin screams _too close_ , and he shuts his own to avoid it. In retaliation Nicky twists his wrist and thumbs at Kevin’s tip, and Kevin thrusts forward, moaning out Nicky’s name.

As soon as he does he blushes, embarrassed, and opens his eyes to see Nicky smirking up at him. He growls and crashes their mouths together, only to end up panting against Nicky’s mouth. Nicky stops suddenly, and Kevin starts to pull back until he feels Nicky’s fingers on him again, and _oh_. He’s jerking them off _together_ , cocks gripped side by side in his fist.

Kevin bites his lip in an attempt to quell the embarrassing whining noise in his throat, but he doesn’t quite manage. Nicky leans up and nips at Kevin’s ear, making him shiver again as he whispers into the shell of Kevin’s ear, “Yeah, that’s it, let me hear you, Kev.”

He moans instantly, brokenly, and goosebumps ripple along his skin.

He doesn’t know why this is affecting him so much. He’s always had a high sex drive, and he jerks off nearly every day, but this is better somehow. This is Nicky, making him feel good and feeling good right alongside him. Nicky’s hand is softer than Kevin’s own, and his lips are soft where they kiss along his neck up to the side of his face.

Kevin watches his and Nicky’s cocks fucking into Nicky’s fist together, and clenches his fist in the bedspread to keep from losing control. They’re both panting, Nicky’s nose pressed into his cheek. Nicky’s other hand rubs up and down Kevin’s back, almost soothingly.

He cries out when Nicky squeezes their tips together in his fist and scratches lightly down his shoulder blades. “Nicky, _Nicky,_ I’m- I can’t-”

Nicky mouths along Kevin’s jaw, hot and wet. “You’re good, Kev, you’re so good,” he breathes. “Come on, honey, come with me.”

Kevin comes immediately all over Nicky’s stomach with a loud cry, closely followed by Nicky himself. He manages to keep supporting himself through it, and then lowers himself shakily down onto Nicky, not caring about their combined mess being smeared onto his own skin. He hides his burning face in Nicky’s neck, breathing heavily, and makes sure not to crush Nicky.

Nicky hums happily and removes his hand from between them, still shifting his hips in an effort to milk his orgasm as far as he can. Kevin tangles a hand gently into Nicky’s hair and wraps the other softly around Nicky’s bicep. He whines pathetically when Nicky’s movements verge on overstimulating. He lies still and runs his clean hand soothingly up and down Kevin’s hot back.

“You good, Kev?” Nicky asks softly.

Kevin blushes again, but mumbles out “Yeah,” before nuzzling further into Nicky. Somehow, he’s pleased at still being _Kev_ right now. He doesn’t want to go back to being _Kevin_ yet, even though that doesn’t make complete sense. “Thank you.”

Nicky laughs. “No need to thank me. We both kind of got something out of this.” But he lets Kevin lay on him a little while longer anyway.

-

Kevin has definite proof he is very into guys now, but he doesn’t bring it up even as Nicky grabs wet wipes from this drawers and cleans them off.

“Are these aloe-scented?” Kevin asks.

“Not just scented, there’s aloe _in_ them.”

“But… why?”

“Aloe is good for your skin, knucklehead. Reduces irritation. Do you want an irritated six pack?”

“ _You_ irritate my six pack.”

Nicky grins smugly at him. “That’s pretty gay, Kevin.”

Kevin kicks him off the bed.

They put their clothes back on and head out to the living room. Kevin kind of wants to get back to the Trojans game he’d been watching before Nicky came in, but instead he sits next to Nicky on the couch and watches him take out zombies in a weird retro Wii game.

He doesn’t know how to bring up that he wants to do this again, so he just says, “So when you said you talked to Erik, does that mean… Did he…” Nicky watches him struggle through the sentence. “Is- Can we do this again?”

Nicky smiles just the tiniest bit. “Do you want to?”

Kevin nods.

“Alright. We can do this again then.”

“Okay,” Kevin says, and relaxes against the couch as Nicky swears at the boss on his game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first thing I post in like six months, and it's my first explicit fic ever. Good job, andee. Questions, comments, concerns, or you just want to yell at me, my [tumblr](http://1980sghostboy.tumblr.com/) is here. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing: smutty angst.

They fall into a routine. Whenever the dorm is empty, they retreat to the bedroom to get each other off or just to make out, then clean up and try to act like nothing has changed. But it has; they end up spending more time around each other by default, alone together until everyone comes back to the dorm or because they subconsciously seek each other out more often these days.

Kevin for the life of him can’t remember why he used to find Nicky so annoying. Although, he used to be annoyed by almost everyone, so no mystery there.

“Did you change your shampoo?” he asks, watching Nicky pull his shirt back on, sadly.

“Why do you ask?” Nicky says, suspicious.

Kevin shrugs as much as he can from where he lays sprawled on the bed. “It smells like coconuts now.”

“In a… good way?”

“Sure,” Kevin says, but Nicky’s mouth pulls to the side and a small wrinkle forms between his eyebrows. “I like coconuts,” he adds.

Nicky smiles. “Well, then, if the _great Kevin Day_ likes it-” he laughs at how hard Kevin rolls his eyes and sits back down on the edge of the bed, next to Kevin. “I’m trying out a different conditioner. It’s supposed to help my curls or whatever? But I’m not sure if it’s working or not.”

“It looks curly to me,” Kevin says.

Nicky sighs, put upon. “I don’t know why I expected you to know better, Mr. I-Used-To-Have-A-Bowlcut.”

“It _wasn’t_ a bowlcut,” Kevin protests as Nicky cackles. “And besides, R- uh. I never picked my own haircut, so.”

He can feel Nicky’s big dark eyes on him, knows he caught the stumble. Nicky can be more observant than Kevin previously believed him to be, and it puts Kevin on edge because Nicky rarely calls him out on things like this. He just does what he’s doing now- observing him, staying quiet long enough that there’s no way Kevin can fool himself into thinking Nicky doesn’t realize, and then moving on like it never happened.

“Either way, getting that mop cut was probably the best thing you could have ever done because it made you look like-”

It’s not what Kevin’s used to. If Andrew or Neil ever hear Kevin stumble over avoiding Riko’s name, they make a point to call him on it. The others just give him looks that range from anger to contempt, either at the name Kevin won’t say or at Kevin for saying it at all. He’s never sure which. Maybe it’s a bit of both.

He wants to thank Nicky somehow, for allowing him space that no one else has been willing to give him, but verbally expressing his emotions has never been his strong suit. Instead he reaches up and pulls one of Nicky’s curls straight and then lets go to watch it spring back. “See? Curly enough.”

Nicky snorts. “If you say so, Kev. Now put your shirt on, the others’ll be back soon and you’re being very distracting.”

Kevin smirks and gets dressed.

-

The first time Nicky blows Kevin is against their bedroom door.

They were all having a rare night in, watching a movie, when Aaron left to go see Katelyn. Andrew lasted a few minutes longer before becoming too antsy and heading up to the roof, Neil following. Which left Kevin and Nicky on the couch, sitting closer than strictly necessary now that room had opened up.

The movie is some spy heist thing. Kevin’s been tuned out for a while, tired of noticing the historical inaccuracies. He’s much more aware of Nicky’s breathing beside him, how he huffs quietly at the protagonist’s witty one-liners. He looks over and suddenly just… really wants to kiss Nicky.

He doesn’t think about how he wants to kiss _Nicky_ instead of just kissing _a boy_. He just leans a little bit closer and says, “Hey.” When Nicky turns his head to look at him, he pulls him in with a hand on the side of Nicky’s neck and presses their lips together, unhurried and slow. Nicky smiles into it and leans further into Kevin, who slides his hands up into Nicky’s curly-enough hair.

They make out on the couch until they’re both hard, slowly rutting against each other. Nicky reaches down to cup Kevin through his pants, and Kevin’s head falls back against the armrest as a breathless little _ah!_ escapes his mouth.

Nicky plants his hand over Kevin’s mouth. “Shh, _shit_ , Kev.”

Kevin looks at him with wide eyes and a pounding heart. He doesn’t know how he could’ve forgotten this is supposed to be a secret.

Nicky leans up and whispers into Kevin’s ear, making him shiver. “Bedroom.” He climbs off of him and grabs his hand as he leads the way.

After he’s shut and locked the bedroom door, he pushes Kevin up against it with his body. Kevin lets out an _oof_ from the force and pulls Nicky’s hair in retaliation. He lets that slide and pulls Kevin’s face down to his, shifting a leg between Kevin’s to slot their bodies better together. Kevin grinds back against him and makes a soft noise into his mouth. Nicky pulls away far enough to look at Kevin, and then kisses him sweetly on the cheek. Kevin blushes and scowls down at him, ignoring the sudden thumping in his chest.

Nicky keeps going, though, kissing down Kevin’s neck to his collarbones and further to the little bit of chest revealed by the undone buttons on Kevin’s henley. Kevin’s hands scrabble ineffectively at Nicky’s shoulders, desperate to get his mouth back on his. He doesn’t know what Nicky’s doing, why he’s mouthing softly at Kevin’s skin and getting him so worked up, until Nicky slides down to his knees and looks up at him through his lashes.

His breath freezes in his chest. They’ve never done this before.

Nicky tugs at the waistband of Kevin’s jeans. “Kevin, come on, do you wanna or not?”

Kevin nods frantically and croaks out, “Yeah.”

Nicky undoes his pants and tugs them and his boxers down together, and now… Nicky’s mouth is in front of his cock, so close that Kevin feels the warm exhale from his mouth on his tip. He licks up the underside, following the vein with his hot tongue, and Kevin’s head bangs against the door. Nicky’s quiet huff of laughter makes Kevin bite his lip, both because he can _feel_ it and because… he likes that Nicky laughs during this.

He doesn’t get embarrassed or annoyed anymore when Nicky laughs while they’re getting off because he sees now that it’s just Nicky’s natural state. When they’re laid bare together and everything else is gone except for their bodies and the way they move together, Nicky is a joyous creature. He enjoys sex and feeling good and making others feel good, and Kevin’s never met someone quite like Nicky Hemmick.

When Nicky finally takes Kevin into his mouth, Kevin covers his face with both hands, but that still doesn’t hide the way he whines.

Nicky pulls off. “Kev,” he says gently. “Hey, look at me. Come on, Kev, hey.” Kevin can’t resist when Nicky calls him that; he lowers his hands and looks down, and his chest jumps.

Nicky is on his knees, mouth right in front of Kevin’s tip, one hand wrapped lightly around his base. His cheeks are flushed slightly and his lips are dark, wet, and swollen. Kevin’s stomach drops. He doesn’t know why.

“Let me hear you, Kev. Okay?”

He doesn’t want Nicky to hear him, doesn’t want Nicky to know all the embarrassing noises he can wring from him with even the slightest provocation. He doesn’t want Nicky to know… something. But he’s asking, and Kevin can’t say no when Nicky calls him that, so he clasps his hands behind his neck and nods. “Okay.”

Nicky flashes him a quick smile, crooked and sunny, before taking Kevin all the way down into his throat.

Kevin gasps in a shaking breath and moans higher than he ever has when Nicky swallows around him. His nails dig into the skin at the back of his neck, but he doesn’t realize. He can’t look away from where Nicky’s lips are wrapped around his base. Then Nicky pulls back and suddenly Kevin’s mouth is functional again.

“Yeah, Nicky, yeah, god, that’s so good, Nicky-”

He can’t stop babbling. The part of his mind not overtaken by pleasure tells him that he’ll be really embarrassed when this is over. But for right now he focuses on the way Nicky presses his tongue flat to Kevin’s tip, on the comforting hand resting just beneath Kevin’s navel, on the thumb sweeping back and forth through the dark hair every now and then.

Nicky reaches up with his free hand for both of Kevin’s, which he places in his hair. Kevin tangles his fingers in the curls before smoothing them out again and again as Nicky alternates between taking him all the way in and pulling back to lap at the tip with his soft tongue. He runs his free hand up and down the side of Kevin’s thigh, and when Kevin cries out particularly loudly, he reaches around to squeeze his ass, making Kevin jerk his hips forward in reaction.

Nicky rears back to scowl halfheartedly up at Kevin, who runs his fingers through Nicky’s hair apologetically, smoothing it away from his face. “Sorry, sorry,” he pants. “Please don’t stop, Nicky, please.”

Nicky takes one of Kevin’s hands out of his hair and guides it so that it holds Kevin’s shirt up above his stomach, something Nicky had previously been doing. Now Nicky presses his hands to Kevin’s hips firmly, pinning him to the door. Kevin’s left hand tightens in Nicky’s hair from that, and then further from the way Nicky swallows him down again with no preamble. He tries to focus on not pulling Nicky’s hair, and mostly succeeds now that he doesn’t have to worry about accidentally thrusting into Nicky’s mouth.

His heart is beating too fast in his chest. He can’t stop staring down at Nicky, can’t stop the noises from pouring from his mouth. Nicky’s hands on his hips feel like fire, holding him against the door, strong enough that he stays firmly in place no matter how much his hips jerk. Kevin’s hip bones fit perfectly in the palms of Nicky’s hands. When Nicky splays his fingers over the skin, Kevin shivers all over.

Nicky’s head moves slowly up and down Kevin’s cock, but Nicky’s mouth is hot and wet and he knows exactly how to use his tongue and when to suck so hard his cheeks hollow out and- Kevin can’t last much longer. He’s lost track of time, doesn’t know whether he should be embarrassed of how hard his thighs shake. He tugs at Nicky’s hair, whining. “Nicky, I can’t- I’m gonna- _Nicky_.”

Nicky pulls back and stands so Kevin can pull him in with a hand at the back of his neck and kiss him desperately. He finishes him off with his hand as Kevin makes whining little _mm, mm_ noises into his mouth. When he comes, he moans, long and loud, and collapses forward onto Nicky, who holds him up until his legs work again.

He pants into Nicky’s neck for a few moments, and Nicky strokes his clean hand up and down Kevin’s too-hot back soothingly. He’s shaking a little, but he ignores it to raise his head and kiss Nicky. It’s sloppy but Kevin can’t care when Nicky tastes a little like what he assumes is his precome.

If he weren’t so utterly wiped out from how hard he just came, he’d probably be turned on again at the thought.

But he can feel Nicky pressing hard and heavy against his hip, so he slides a hand into Nicky’s sweatpants and starts tugging him off.

It’s different, somehow. He doesn’t know why. He just knows that this time, he can’t look away from Nicky’s eyes, can’t stop feeling this rush in his veins. He doesn’t know what it is so he wants to ignore it, because nothing can be this important, this pressing of a matter. He feels like he’s hurtling towards something, like he’s drunk and happy, like he’s just scored the winning shot in a game-

He feels like he’s falling.

A half second after Kevin realizes, Nicky comes with closed eyes and his bottom lip between his teeth, stifling the little noise he always makes when he comes.

As soon as he’s done, Nicky pulls back, and Kevin feels the familiar anxiety lodge itself in his diaphragm. Usually they spend a couple more minutes kissing or just touching as they both recover, but Nicky doesn’t even look Kevin in the eye as he changes into a new pair of sweats. He doesn’t speak until he’s halfway out the door.

“Alright, well, see you later, Kevin!”

Kevin stands in the bedroom with his pants around his knees and a stomach made of ice, because he’s gone back to being _Kevin_ once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter after this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Resolutions, a little plot, and more smut.

Usually Nicky loves hearing the dialing sound as his phone calls Erik’s from a whole ocean away, but today he’s impatient and stressed. He _needs_ to talk about this with someone, and who better to talk to than the love of his life? _If he would just pick up the goddamn phone._

Nicky had left Kevin Day with his pants still down over two weeks ago and hasn’t spoken to him since. It’s for the best, honestly, because Kevin isn’t subtle in anything and Nicky could practically see his heart in his eyes that day. It’s not what Nicky wanted to happen, not what this was supposed to be. Nicky has Erik, wouldn’t give him up for the world, and Kevin…

Actually, he’s not really sure about Kevin anymore. Kevin “it’s better to be hetero” Day, trying out his attraction to men, getting too attached to one. Nicky doesn’t know what to think of Kevin anymore.

He just knows that he’s- upset. More upset than he should be by any rights because he’d started out avoiding and ignoring Kevin until he realized that the only reason his efforts were so successful was that Kevin was ignoring him _right back_. Which doesn’t fit into what he thought Kevin’s feelings were.

“…buttdial me again?” says Erik’s voice into the receiver.

Nicky tears himself from his thoughts. “Babe! No, I’m here, sorry, I was just. Thinking hard.”

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Erik says solemnly.

“Jerk,” Nicky scoffs, trying to tone down his grin.

“Soooooooo, what’s up? It’s not Sunday.” Their weekly calls are always on Sunday, when neither of them are busy and can make time for a long phone call.

“Yeah, I know, I’m just. I need someone to talk to. About who I asked you about a couple months ago.” He doesn’t want to risk saying Kevin’s name on his end. He’s perched on a low wall on the other side of campus from the Tower, and he’s speaking in German, but still. Nicky understands having to be in the closet, and no matter how he feels about Kevin now, he’s not going to out him to the public.

“Kevin?” Erik asks. “Why? Did he do something?”

“No, not _something_ something, he just. He started catching feelings, right, I could _tell_. So I kinda, like, walked out and decided to ghost him a little bit because that’s _not what this was supposed to be_. This was just supposed to be a fun, casual thing where he realizes how thirsty for dick he is, but he has to go and ruin it with those fucking heart eyes-”

“So he caught feelings and you ghosted him, basically,” Erik sums up.

“Essentially, but when you put it like that I sound like a fuckboy.”

“Do you?” he muses.

“Don’t test me, Klose,” Nicky warns jokingly. “I’m upset because then I realized _he’s_ actually ignoring _me_ , which, what? That doesn’t make sense, he’s supposed to be like, madly in love with me-”

“How do you know?” From his end comes the sound of groaning leather, and Nicky knows he’s sat down in his comfy chair by the window. Erik calls it his thinking chair.

“I could tell, okay? From the way he looked-”

“That-”

‘’He looked at me the way you look at me, alright? The same way.”

“Hmm.” He pauses for a moment. “So why did you freak out then?”

“Because I can’t lead him on like that! I don’t-”

“Nicky.”

Nicky’s breath catches, and he stays quiet for a moment in fear.

“It’s okay if you have feelings for him too,” Erik says softly, soothing.

“I _don’t_! I love _you_! You’re- I love you so much and I wouldn’t-”

“Baby, baby, I know, I know. I love you too. Loving someone else doesn’t mean you don’t love me too.”

“No, I’m in love with _you_. Erik, you’re my everything, I would never- I don’t want anything to come between us-”

“Nothing is coming between us, slow down, baby, _breathe_.” He listens to Nicky sniffling slightly on the other end for a minute. “I’m sorry I scared you. I didn’t mean for it to sound like that. I was just saying, it’s okay with me if you have feelings for us both. It’s called being poly.”

Nicky sniffs and rubs the heel of his hand over one eye. “Polyamory, huh? I never thought I… It’s always been you, you know? Always you, Erik Klose.”

The smile on Erik’s face is audible in his voice. “I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you, Nicholas Hemmick. And if you want to be with me _and_ Kevin, I wouldn’t mind. I like him well enough. As long as he treats you well.”

Nicky laughs wetly. “I… I don’t know what I want,” he says softly. He hasn’t wanted to think about it, how he’s enjoyed his time with Kevin, enjoyed getting to know him better, even when they weren’t having sex.

“That’s okay. Just let me know, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I- Aren’t you, I dunno, surprised about all this?”

“Nicholas. My love. The last time we facetimed, you made Kevin stay in the room for an hour. You were being cute with us.”

“Oh. Yeah, that makes sense.”

-

When Kevin had first approached Nicky about their arrangement, all that went through Nicky’s head was a triumphant _I KNEW he was gay I KNEW it I called it it was so obvious-_ And then they kissed and Nicky was distinctly underwhelmed. Kevin was obviously petrified. So Nicky took the lead, and Kevin responded to that really well, so he kept doing it. And then somewhere along the way he stopped being _Kevin_ in Nicky’s head and turned into _Kev_.

Nicky had ignored that at the time, the same way he’d ignored a lot of things about Kevin. How Kevin told him things that Nicky is pretty sure no one else knows, how Kevin seems calmer lately, more settled into his skin. The way they always sought each other out even when there was no time or opportunity to fool around.

Nicky thinks he might have had feelings for Kevin just as long as Kevin has for him.

He stews for a few days, thinking things over, deciding whether or not he actually wants to pursue something with Kevin. He’s only ever been with Erik, so he doesn’t know what being with someone else could be like, but he realizes that he wants to try. He wants to bring Kevin coffee, and kiss him on the cheek, and fall asleep with their arms around each other. He wants to be able to make out during a movie like teenagers without feeling guilt or paranoia that they’ll be discovered. He wants the sly looks Kevin gives him from the corner of his eye when someone else says something funny, the reckless smile when Nicky hovers over him in bed, the broken moans he makes when his cock slides into Nicky’s throat.

He just has to talk to Kevin first and see if he wants the same thing, and to do that he has to intercept him when there as few people around as possible.

Nicky waits for him on the couch one night before Kevin and Andrew leave for night practice. Neil is somewhere else, and Kevin and Andrew are in the bedroom doing whatever it is they used to do before Neil came into their lives. Nicky sits there and waits, and ends up dozing off until the sound of Andrew slamming the bedroom door shut startles him awake.

By the time he rubs the sleep from his eyes and remembering what he was supposed to be waiting for, Kevin is almost out the door. A small part of Nicky thinks that _maybe I shouldn’t bother him after all_ , but Nicky ignores it to scramble off the couch and call, “Kev, wait!”

Kevin freezes in the doorway. He stands there for a minute before turning his head so Nicky can hear him say, “I’m going to practice.”

Nicky ignores that. “Can we talk? Please?”

Kevin turns his head back to face forward again, but he doesn’t move. Nicky hopes against hope that he says yes, decides to hear him out.

They end up taking too long for what Andrew will allow. “You’ve lost my attention. If you want to practice you can walk.” He reaches back into the room to grab the door and slam it shut, leaving them alone together. Kevin turns slowly to face him.

“So- okay,” Nicky starts. “I’ve been thinking, and…” He trails off, trying as hard as he can to piece together a coherent statement as quickly as possible, but Kevin cuts him off with a dull,

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?” he asks after a moment of dumbfounded silence.

Kevin’s eyes shift somewhere just to the left of Nicky’s face. “We can forget it ever happened if you want.” When Nicky stays silent, he concludes with, “are we done here?”

“You- what the _fuck_ , Kevin?” Nicky feels his blood boiling suddenly. He doesn’t know how Kevin can get such a reaction from him with so few words, but here he is with his heartbeat pounding in his ears, equal measures of anger and fear. “I came here to tell you- and you just- no. We are _not_ done here. You want to just forget all of this?”

“I will if that’s what you want.” His tone hasn’t gotten more emotional than a robotic-sounding monotone, and it infuriates Nicky even more.

“That’s not what I asked, actually. You just want to pretend like none of this ever happened, that there’s not all of this between us-”

“No,” Kevin says sharply.

“You just said-” Nicky cuts himself off to take a deep breath, letting it out in a harsh exhale. Kevin still won’t look at him. “What _do_ you want, then?”

“Nothing I can have.”

“That’s not for you to decide.”

Kevin turns his head away and takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. Nicky watches his left hand clench and relax, clench and relax. “I want-” It starts out strong, and then Kevin lowers his voice. “I want to keep being Kev.”

Everything in Nicky stops. He’s quiet long enough that Kevin feels the need to continue, still in the same soft tone that now Nicky recognizes as sadness.

“Whenever we… You call me Kev. And I liked that. I wasn’t- I was someone better, with you. You’re so… you made me better.” Nicky watches his throat bob as he swallows. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” Nicky breathes, suddenly aware after he’s said it how true it is.

“Then why-” Kevin makes an aborted gesture and clenches his jaw. He looks at Nicky, and now Nicky can see the agitation in the tightness around his mouth, the sadness in his eyes. “Why did you _leave_?”

Nicky swallows and says thickly, “Because when you say my name it sounds different from the way everyone else says it, even though you don’t say it any differently. It just- I like hearing you say my name, and that scared me.”

“Because you have Erik.” The monotone is back, but Nicky can’t be tricked into thinking Kevin is unfeeling anymore.

“Yeah.” It’s the honest answer that Kevin takes to mean something else. He turns away again, so Nicky steps forward place a hand on his jaw. Kevin jerks away so Nicky settles for grabbing the collar of his t-shirt. “I talked to Erik. He doesn’t mind that I have feelings for you both.”

Kevin’s eyes snap to his. “What?”

Nicky releases his hold on Kevin’s shirt so that he can frame Kevin’s face with both his hands. “I want you, Kevin. Not just in bed, I mean all the time. I wanna get coffee with you and watch boring documentaries with you-”

“You have feelings for me.” Nicky feels a hand grip tightly at his shirt, just over his heart.

“I do,” he says, and Kevin pulls him in to crush their mouths together.

After so long without even talking, kissing Kevin is such a huge relief that Nicky could cry. He hadn’t realized until now just how stressed and unhappy he was by the whole situation, how much he missed being around Kevin. Kevin wraps his free arm around Nicky’s waist and pulls their bodies flush together. Nicky bites at Kevin’s lip, and he lets out a little whimper that tugs at Nicky’s heart. He licks softly over Kevin’s lip to soothe it. Kevin releases his hold on Nicky’s shirt to bury a hand in is hair, and slides his tongue into Nicky’s mouth.

Neither of them realize they’re walking backwards until Nicky’s back hits the wall, and he exhales a muffled sound into Kevin’s mouth. Kevin kisses down to his neck, where he bites down just hard enough to make Nicky scratch down Kevin’s back. “Bedroom,” he grits out, and pushes Kevin in that direction.

They strip as they go, losing their pants after Nicky shuts and locks the bedroom door. They collapse naked onto the bed and don’t stop kissing for longer than it takes to suck a breath in. Kevin lays on top of Nicky with his hands tangled in his curls while Nicky strokes up and down Kevin’s back. Their hips move softly together, and Nicky can feel them both growing hard against each other. Kevin sucks at the same spot on Nicky’s neck and Nicky squeezes his ass in retaliation, making Kevin’s hips jerk hard into his.

Nicky’s breath catches, so Kevin grinds down again, harder, and Nicky leans his head back and sighs, “Yeah, Kev, yeah.” When they’re both hard, Kevin kisses his way down Nicky’s neck, then his chest. He removes his hands from Nicky’s hair to smooth them over Nicky’s abdomen and up to rub the pads of his thumbs over Nicky’s nipples. Nicky bites his lip as Kevin mouths lower and lower until he’s breathing over Nicky’s cock laying hot and heavy against his hip.

He pauses there, so Nicky leans up on one elbow and runs a hand through Kevin’s hair to get his attention. “Hey, it’s okay,” he says softly. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Come here.”

But Kevin just looks up at him with the set of his brow Nicky has come to label as _stubborn_ , and licks a wet stipe along the underside of Nicky’s cock. Nicky’s hand tightens in his hair, but Kevin just runs his free hand over Nicky’s belly. “I want to. Can I?”

Nicky doesn’t think he’s even capable of saying no to those eyes. “Shit, Kev. Yeah. Yeah.”

Kevin traces his fingers over Nicky’s cock lightly before gripping it and stroking twice. Nicky clenches his hand in the bedsheet. He hasn’t had anyone’s mouth on him since the last time he saw Erik, which was months ago now. He cradles the back of Kevin’s head when he leans down to press his tongue cautiously against the tip. He can’t stop the small noise deep in his throat, especially when Kevin lowers himself fully to the bed so he can look up at Nicky while he blows him.

He starts carefully, wrapping his lips around Nicky’s tip and sucking lightly. Nicky moves his hand down to the back of Kevin’s neck, where he won’t accidentally force Kevin’s head down. Kevin pulls back with a messy slurping noise and tells him, “I want to make you feel good. I want to learn how to do that. So you need to let me know when you do. Don’t try to be quiet. I have to hear you.” He waits until Nicky bites his lip and nods before opening his mouth again to take Nicky inside.

“Easy, easy,” Nicky murmurs when Kevin goes down further, and Kevin scowls up at him before hollowing his cheeks and pulling off. Nicky’s moan turns into a whine when Kevin does it again, going down further. He takes in Nicky’s cock until Nicky can feel the back of Kevin’s throat, and then he pumps his hand up and down what’s left, the motion made slick with the spit leaking from the corners of his mouth.

Nicky tries to keep from talking as long as he can, until Kevin hollows his cheeks and presses his tongue flat along the prominent vein at the same time that he looks up into Nicky’s eyes. It’s one of the most gorgeous sights he’s ever seen, and he can’t stop from blurting out, “ _fuck_ , Kev, yeah, that’s so good, oh fuck, baby-” Kevin’s eyes flutter closed for a moment before he opens them and does the same thing again before lowering his head more, and then Nicky can feel himself in Kevin’s throat.

A small part of Nicky is pissed that Kevin’s doing so well already. But the rest of him is so incredibly turned on by the fact that his cock is down Kevin Day’s throat. He looks gorgeous sucking cock, as well, full lips stretched over Nicky, his eyes made even greener from the way they water slightly, his cheeks flushed from Nicky telling him how beautiful and good he is. “You look so good, Kev, oh my god, your mouth- yeah, just like that, Kev, yeah.” Nicky pants out desperately, “hum a little,” and Kevin does without question.

The vibrations in Kevin’s throat feel like heaven against Nicky’s cock, and his hips stutter forward further into Kevin’s mouth on accident as Nicky moans loudly. Kevin chokes and pulls off. “Sorry, sorry,” he says breathlessly, and cups Kevin’s face in apology. “Fuck, your mouth is perfect.” Kevin sucks at the head of Nicky’s cock and adjusts to that he has one hand on each of Nicky’s hips. He splays his fingers before digging them in slightly, making Nicky shiver. He presses down just hard enough to ensure that Nicky stays put, and then lowers his mouth to take Nicky into his throat again.

Nicky grunts at the sudden heat and wetness, and his hips jerk again but stay firmly on the bed under Kevin’s hands, so Kevin hums again, louder than before. Nicky cries out and grips what he can of Kevin’s hair, and Kevin moans around his cock as he starts moving his head up and down. Nicky can see Kevin grinding down onto the mattress, is high off the way Kevin’s turned on from sucking his cock. “ _Shit_ , Kev, so good, you’re so good,” he babbles.

Kevin alternates between taking Nicky as far down as he can and pulling back to suck at the tip while stroking along the rest of Nicky’s length with his hand. Nicky can’t stop the noise from his mouth; he’s always been loud in bed, and especially so when he’s getting blown. He tries not to pull his hair too much, even though Kevin’s eyes flutter and he moans softly every time Nicky does. Kevin pushes his hands against Nicky’s hips and then slides his head down to take all of Nicky’s cock into his throat and then swallows, and Nicky tosses his head back and comes without warning with a loud cry.

He can feel Kevin gag a little and pull most of the way off, but he keeps the tip in his mouth until Nicky is finished, stroking his hand along his spit-slick length and making his orgasm last. Nicky has to take a moment to breathe, and he watches Kevin rest his head against Nicky’s thigh and grind himself down onto the mattress.

When he’s mostly coherent again, Nicky scrabbles at Kevin’s shoulders to make him sit up, and swipes a thumb at the corner of his mouth where come had leaked out. “That doesn’t usually happen,” he says fuzzily. “I’m sorr-” Kevin interrupts him by grabbing hold of Nicky’s wrist and sucking his thumb into his soft warm mouth, licking off the come and staring into Nicky’s wide eyes all the while.

Nicky can’t look away, breathing harshly. If he hadn’t just come as hard as he did, this would definitely be a turn on. He pulls his thumb from Kevin’s mouth and kisses him hard, threading his fingers into Kevin’s hair. He tugs slightly, and a sweet little _ah_ falls from Kevin’s mouth, so Nicky tugs again just to hear it. Kevin’s head falls back, following Nicky’s fingers, and Nicky takes the opportunity to bite a trail down Kevin’s neck, not hard enough to bruise but hard enough that Kevin really feels it.

He pushes Kevin backwards and falls on top of him, biting down where his neck meets his shoulders. Kevin moans loudly, surprised, and bucks his hips upwards into Nicky’s, seeking friction. Nicky puts his thigh between Kevin’s and gives him something to thrust up against.

Kevin grabs Nicky’s ass in his hands and squeezes, rutting up against him as Nicky murmurs into his ear. “Yeah, you’re so good, Kev, you’re doing so good. You’re beautiful like this.” Kevin whines low in his throat, and Nicky presses into him further. “Can you come like this? Can you come for me?”

Kevin moans brokenly. “Nicky- Nn- I-”

He places a hand on Kevin’s cheek, and Kevin looks up at him with wide eyes. “Come on, I’ve got you, Kev. Come for me.”

Kevin bucks his hips up one last time and comes hard all over their stomachs.

-

After they’ve cleaned up and shakily put their underwear back on, they lay together on Kevin’s bed. Nicky kisses softly along his neck and shoulder, and Kevin asks dazedly, “Was it okay?”

Nicky pulls back to look at him and scoffs. “It was amazing. Sorry I didn’t, uh. Warn you. To pull off.”

Kevin shrugs and closes his eyes. “I didn’t mind,” he says nonchalantly, as if he doesn’t know what that does to Nicky.

“So, uh. About earlier.” Kevin opens his eyes to watch him while he speaks. “I love Erik. And I think you and I could be really good. So would you want to try?”

He can feel Kevin’s arm tighten around his waist. “Yes. I do want to try.”

Nicky smiles and kisses Kevin’s cheek, happiness bursting into his chest. “Okay, cool. Good. So are you, like, my boyfriend, or-”

Kevin groans and pulls Nicky closer to toss a leg over him, burying his face in his neck. “Tomorrow. Right now it’s time for sleep.”

Nicky smiles softly and closes his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a wild time this has been. Thanks everyone for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> The first thing I post in like six months, and it's my first explicit fic ever. Good job, andee. Questions, comments, concerns, or you just want to yell at me, my [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/1980salienboi) and [tumblr](http://1980salienboi.tumblr.com/) are here. Thanks for reading!


End file.
